var quotes = new Array;

quotes.push(""Only 90hrs a week? Pussy." -- Big_Kahunaca");
quotes.push(""I understand the fuckwads we work for haven't decided which hand is doing the jerking off here today" -- Daweman");
quotes.push(""Well that's the way it works. It's kinda like life. You are alive your whole life, and then one day WHAMMO!! You're fucking dead" - Phaedrus");
quotes.push(""Kill it. Kill it in the face." - Phaedrus");
quotes.push(""It's a little more difficult to kill someone when you're staggering like a drugged rhino..." -- grendyll");
quotes.push(""and yes godammit, I have sand in my vagina" -- DevilWTKC");
quotes.push(""FUCK-THIS-SHIT-AND-WALK-OUT-O-METER IS HITTIN 99.9%" -- dolemite");
quotes.push(""I feel my brain swelling and pounding, sometimes I think I get close to having a blowout." -- dolemite");
quotes.push(""Hold me, I'm scared." -- Phaedrus");
quotes.push(""Just remember you have friends in high places.....or low places, willing to do the dirty work..." -- Big_Kahunaca");
quotes.push(""Phaed, I never thought I'd say this, but you my friend are a fucking genius" -- DiscipleRyan");
quotes.push(""I say go for broke. Just before you go to sleep have a bacon/egg/cheese burger with Jalapenos, onions, and heroin. Wash it down with a bottle of NyQuil, and relax laying down under the tailpipe of your running car.  If that doesn't put you completely out of your mind, sending you on a killing rampage because people remind you of Samauri asperragus that tried to eat your hub caps, I would be delighted to read how your dream turned out." -- Phaedrus");
quotes.push(""With only a small handfull of elitists among the annoying half-witted cock gobblers, it's a tough call" -- Phaedrus");
quotes.push(""How exactly does an elitist act all elitist among a bunch of elitists? I mean... we DO want to wipe out more than 3/4 of the world's population simply because they annoy us." -- Phaedrus");
quotes.push(""....and besides, the admin here is a lazy fucker too :)" -- Pepsi");
quotes.push(""STOP MESSING UP OUR VISION FUDGE PANTS!!!!" -- Phaedrus");
quotes.push(""if you're looking for highly intellectual "silver spoon up your ass" type of insults....then you're probably going to have to look elsewhere." -- Mr_Pink");
quotes.push(""There is a damn fine reason I am choosing to not get opinionated in this thread.  Working myself up to the point where I need to switch to decaf is one of them. " -- Phaedrus");
quotes.push(""Man, that guy has been gone for a solid month, and is STILL a regular topic. He's like the cum stain on IT Bunout's dress." -- Phaedrus");
quotes.push(""Instead of Hurricane Ivan...it would be Hurricane Anal Reamer. Or instead of tropical storm Karl, it would be Tropical Storm Fist Fucker." -- Mr_Pink");
quotes.push(""You sir have just signed that cars death knell. It will fly apart in less then a month like upper management when faced with a "amd vs intel" decision." -- Daweman");
quotes.push(""Just for the record: Behaving is for pussy's" -- Daweman");
quotes.push("""makin' your mama proud"....?!?!? What kinda sick ass Mama you got?" -- Daweman");
quotes.push(""umm... sure. Whatever you say... dickless cock chugger." -- Phaedrus");
quotes.push(""Hey shitbird, that was me being nice." -- Phaedrus");
quotes.push(""Congrats on the shittiest looking link in the history of ITB Phaedrus." -- Daweman");
//quotes.push(""If my wireless router is not config properly could i loose bandwidth?" -- m3z");
quotes.push(""Wrong. Everything you need to know about life is in Die Hard." -- Mr_Pink");
//quotes.push(""One of the most funniest things is when some one states "They have a small dick" that shit get funny." -- m3z");
quotes.push(""Maybe if my mom wasn't such a triffeling cunt maybe i would have been offended" -- m3z");
quotes.push(""hi my name is m3z and i addicted to fat chicks and chicken" -- m3z");
//quotes.push(""Does any one know about paging file system my is givinf me an error it won't dump them" -- m3z");
//quotes.push(""Watch out for this guy fellas. If you drop your wallet around him, you might want to kick it into the corner of the room before you bend over to pick it up." -- Mr_Pink");
//quotes.push("" where did you find time to knock up the wife??  Did you have a laptop on her back ??; -- Daweman");
//quotes.push(""Hey leave my MOOSE KNUCKLE out of this -K-!! Don't ever insult it again.. If you do i will sick MR.Pink and Liquid oxygen boy on you" -- m3z");
//quotes.push(""I do believe I have a name. And it's "Liquid Oxygen MAN", not boy." -- Big_Kahunaca");
quotes.push("" Nobody rebuilds a website with as much obsessive compulsive frantic neurosis as Big_Kahunaca" -- Phaedrus");
//quotes.push(""This thread would be a lot cooler if you didn't speak Retardenese" -- Phaedrus");
quotes.push(""Hello. My name is Phaedrus, and I like to be a dick to people with no idea how to spell or employ grammar." -- Phaedrus");
//quotes.push(""Dont be a dick" -- m3z")
quotes.push(""Nobody is going to be scared of Hurricane Charlie...but if the news says Hurricane Rectal Burster is on the way...people are going to run" -- Mr_Pink")
quotes.push(""Where are my presents Bitches??? (please...no syphilus infected north korean mail order brides...the last one smelled funny.)" -- Mr_Pink")
quotes.push(""haha...ha....the funny just shot itself in the face, and it's convulsing and bleeding out all over the floor." -- Mr_Pink")
quotes.push(""Then there's me. I harass everybody and generally piss people off. Banning people is sort of like a side hobby" -- Phaedrus");
//quotes.push(""wow. that's proof that Darwin misses every once in a while." -- Phaedrus");
quotes.push(""Oh, so now I'm getting tag teamed by the pink mafia" -- Phaedrus");
quotes.push(""we really are bitches.  go figure." -- Phoenix");
quotes.push(""FOUR!! For grossing out Phaed.. nice job man! minus one point for the following phrase.. 'revealing his hairless, ivory, buttery legs and massive non-magical second wand'. -- DiscipleRyan");
quotes.push(""The way you describe it, a bloody stump where your penis used to be and parchment paper are better" -- Phaedrus");
quotes.push(""DAMMIT! I have to go put my keyboard in the dishwasher, as there's a few ounces of sweet tea spewed on it!" -- Dismembered3po");
//quotes.push(""HOLAY FUCK!!! MY WIFE GOT KNOCKED UP BY A LOAF OF BREAD?????" -- Phaedrus");
quotes.push(""I find that violence solves everything. No no, it really does." -- Demilitch");
//quotes.push(""Anything posted by bogger-tee followed by a reference to extreme violence is a 5 in my book!" -- Phaedrus");
//quotes.push(""Ok you think that the black dude on the railrod tracks was bad.. I will post myself on here for you" -- m3z");
quotes.push(""I had a dream I was in the middle of a four man sex chocho train, does anyone know what this means?" -- Fabio");
quotes.push(""Seems like everything you post is in retardese because you don't proof read and correct your stupid spelling and typographical errors." -- DiscipleRyan");
//quotes.push(""Umm... a 14 line rambling typo filled run-on sentence isn't what we are looking for." -- Phaedrus");
quotes.push(""That has to be the gayest fucking thing I have ever read..." -- Phaedrus");
quotes.push(""Pretty impressive rant, with 22 instances of the word fuck in a single post." -- Phaedrus");
quotes.push(""i can work from home 2 days a week now. At first I was all stoked, but now it's not much different, same shit different desk.." -- dolemite");
quotes.push(""I think we may need a survey to see if we can find anybody who Likes bogger-tee. so far, the only poster to say they like bogger-tee is bogger-tee" -- Daweman");
quotes.push("**orgasmshudder** -- Phoenix");
quotes.push(""STFU cock chugger." -- Phaedrus");
quotes.push(""any guilt I may have felt for calling her fucktarded melted away into satisfaction" -- Phoenix");
quotes.push(""hey damnit....you guys have 'cockified' my thread... *grumble*" -- Phoenix");
//quotes.push(""any guilt I may have felt for calling her fucktarded melted away into satisfaction...." -- Phoenix");
quotes.push(""Wow...great thought process there.... Cock-assisted breathing apparatus." -- Finnster");
quotes.push(""People in IT don't give a shit about guns. The only thing that matters is how many rounds you need to take down a supervisor." -- Phaedrus");
quotes.push(""As much as I check this board at work it's amazing I haven't been shit canned yet. Hell, they just assigned me another case I'll have to go remote on. I must be doing something right when I'm not posting contests ideas and calling people names like shitbird and cock chugger." -- Phaedrus");
quotes.push(""Correction: It looks like hammered shit." -- Mr_Pink");
quotes.push(""The fact that you still have that picture makes you more of a ass pounding faggot than the idea that you went looking for it in the first place." -- Phaedrus");
quotes.push(""Feel free to kill yourself at any time." -- Mr_Pink");
quotes.push(""You can't convince an idiot they are an idiot. It's really not worth it." -- Mr_Pink");
quotes.push(""You think your comments are witty and clever which they aren't, unless your audience is school bus full of pants crapping special ed students. So just do yourself a favor, as well as all of us and STOP trying to insult people." -- Phaedrus");
quotes.push(""if this thread wasn't already a steaming sack of shit, I would rate it a 5." -- Phaedrus");
quotes.push(""I see that Phaed is continuing to spread his message of panic and anxiety wherever he goes... " -- Finnster");
quotes.push(""anyone other than me not give two fucks how this conversation turns out?" -- Mr_Pink");
quotes.push(""You sir, can go fuck a mule." -- Mr_Pink");
quotes.push(""Jesus tits, you two are boring the fuck outta me!" -- Phaedrus");
quotes.push(""Exactly how long are you expecting to go without being threatened with banning?" -- Phaedrus");
quotes.push(""And speaking of which, your flea bag of a mother got a good beating last night for pissing on the carpet and chewing up another shoe." -- Phaedrus");
quotes.push(""I don't dictate what is funny....the universe does. And the universe hates you." -- Mr_Pink");
quotes.push(""Some people here are so dumb that I can't believe their knuckles don't bleed when they walk." -- dk533");
quotes.push(""It's like...she woke up today...and decided it was time to be stupid. I'm truly at a loss." -- dk533");
quotes.push(""Actually, I had no idea what an anal fissure is... So I looked it up...I'm sorry that I did..." -- sun_tzu");
quotes.push("" I did what any guy would do. I found a blowtorch." -- tehwin");
quotes.push(""The wall should have a proximity alarm with a loudspeaker that screams "Huevos Rancheros!!!!" before launching eggs and salsa at the intruders!" -- tehwin");
quotes.push(""I knew a guy from GA once. total tool drove like he had a razor in his colon." -- sun tzu");
quotes.push(""My favorite part is how you "fat fingered" the word twice. Twice out of a grand total of 3 words." -- Phaedrus");
quotes.push(""There's a double-negative here or some other such ambiguity that's making my brain hurt." -- Dismembered3po");
quotes.push(""standby....Assessing.... yep, still gay." -- Demilitch");
quotes.push(""I like pie. Can we talk about pie now? Stupid global warming." -- Demilitch");
quotes.push(""Is it even possible to have sex seriously? What facial expression would you use?" -- Gattaka");
quotes.push(""Training is the Golden Garden, hang on to it as long as you can child!!!  It's like the womb, warm and safe." -- Gattaka");
quotes.push(""Oh shits, yer livin the high life!! Cheese in a can? WTF" -- Demilitch");
quotes.push(""Mutha FUK, I love me some cookies!!!" -- Demilitch");
quotes.push(""Fuck it. Work till you die bitch. I will hire a replacement to dispose of your fucking corpse. See a patten here?" -- Demilitch");
quotes.push(""How in the fuck did we go from an acid volcano to DSL'S??  My dick will pack up its balls and leave should this conversation continue along these lines." -- Demilitch");
quotes.push(""And with that I have successfully read through the roughly 150 replies to threads that has been awaiting me. I guess I can clock out and go home now that my work is done." -- Gattaka");
quotes.push(""It's nice to have something interesting to read whilst I bleed "the MAN" dry and fornicate the canine." -- Big_Kahunaca");
quotes.push(""I will no longer post upon this thread as I now deem it officially fucking gay." -- Demilitch");
quotes.push(""If I could grow tits, I wouldn't need the fucking cookies, now would I?" -- Phaedrus");
quotes.push(""Aweee... why not? Its in my pocket. Reach on in and get it. OMG Phaedrus, YOU COMPLETE ME!! ... hold me." -- Demilitch");
quotes.push(""All this talk about cookies... now I need to go to Publix and buy a big ass cookie cake and get my shoog rush AWN!" -- Demilitch");
quotes.push(""You forgot the part where there is a remote control to open a secret panel to release a horde of angry dobermans trained to rip off nutsacks. This works great for Iehovah's witnesses and pushy girl scouts pimping cookies, too.  Not that girl scouts have nut sacks to rip off, but you get the general idea." -- Phaedrus");
quotes.push(""Announcing the official food of ITB: Cookies.  Cookies: Because real men can't grow tits." -- Phaedrus")
quotes.push(""Oh hell, that makes me laFF so hard my ass panicked!" -- Demilitch");
quotes.push(""OMG, The nerdberries are tingly with excitement." -- Demilitch");
quotes.push(""All this talk about cookies... now I need to go to Publix and buy a big ass cookie cake and get my shoog rush AWN!" -- Demilitch");
quotes.push(""Oh man I just fukin horned up my meat glands.  BRB" -- Demilitch");
quotes.push(""Everyone .... pay close atttention to Demilitch... he has almost completely converted to forum and texting speech.  Do you talk like that in real life? Or do you just have a keyboard strapped to your chest where people can &quotchat&quot with you..?" -- Finnster");
quotes.push(""OMG, The nerdberries are tingly with excitement." -- Demilitch");
quotes.push(""This place is like Herpes. It lie dormant for a time and then next thing you know, there's a freakin outbreak of posts." -- Demilitch");
quotes.push(""That made me lol in places where I was once unable to lol." -- Demilitch");



//quotes.push(""It takes some balls to screw your whole family." -- DiscipleRyan");


//enter info and uncomment the line - this is a dolemite supahak!!//

//quotes.push(""It's nice to have something interesting to read whilst I bleed "the MAN" dry and fornicate the canine." -- Big_Kahunaca");
//quotes.push(""text here" -- username");
//quotes.push(""text here" -- username");
//quotes.push(""text here" -- username");
//quotes.push(""text here" -- username");
//quotes.push(""text here" -- username");
//quotes.push(""text here" -- username");
//quotes.push(""text here" -- username");
//quotes.push(""text here" -- username");
//quotes.push(""text here" -- username");

document.write(quotes[(Math.floor(Math.random() * quotes.length))]);